


Personal Memories: Proof of Darkness

by WithPerfectClarity



Series: Personal Memories [2]
Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drama, F/F, Forgiveness, Implied Sexual Content, Mitama's Cooking (background), Polyamory Negotiations, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithPerfectClarity/pseuds/WithPerfectClarity
Summary: Mitama has a deep pit of self hatred and depression in her soul, which demands constant affirmation; and Kanagi goes to school, works, and takes care of her family. Their steady relationship hits a snag when Mitama has a moment of weakness, and the two have to come to terms with what their relationship means to them.
Relationships: Izumi Kanagi/Togame Momoko/Yakumo Mitama, Izumi Kanagi/Yakumo Mitama, Togame Momoko/Yakumo Mitama
Series: Personal Memories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898944
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Personal Memories: Proof of Darkness

“Mad?” Kanagi laughs, leaning back against the old abandoned play equipment. “I suppose I’m upset, yes. Why would I be mad?”

“Because I’m awful!” Mitama sinks into the damp swing seat, pouting as she feels the collected dew From the last rain sink through her skirt. “What I did was unforgivable, and you know it Kanagi-chan. Most people would—”

Kanagi cuts her off, “we’re not most people though, are we? That’s why I love you.” She smiles simply. “Thank you for coming clean.”

“You would have found out sooner or later…” Mitama shakes her head. “After all, with you magic it’s not like I would be able to keep her from you.”

Taking a sudden step closer, Kanagi presses her hand to her heart. “Mitama-chan, you know I  _ would not _ use my magic on you without your permission. I’ve already sworn—”

Standing Mitama is sobbing. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did though. What kind of girlfriend am I anyway if I’m fucking around on you? If I can’t keep my promises, shouldn’t have to—”

Stepping forwards, Kanagi seizes Mitama’s shoulders, before placing a soft kiss on the girl’s forehead. “Of course I’m hurt, but I’ve been hurt before, and wounds heal. It means more to me that you told me than the fact you did it. We’ll work through this, I promise.”

“You’re too good.”

Chuckling, Kanagi runs her hand through Mitama’s hair, holding the girl close. “I don’t hear that a lot.” She pushes her head close, inhaling Mitama’s smell, so clean in the crisp air after the rain.

“Shut up.” Mitama squeezes her girlfriend tightly in return. “Why are you so perfect? It’s infuriating.” Her breath is ragged.

“Because,” Kanagi hesitates, before speaking in a smooth voice, “there’s nobody I’d rather watch the world burn with than you.”

Mitama trembled as she pushed away from Kanagi just enough that the two could see eye to eye. “Kanagi-chan, why am I this way? I laugh with them all, work with them, treat them like family, and then, all I want to do is consume them. I  _ want _ them, even though we’re... Why is that Kanagi-chan? Why aren’t you enough? You should be, I’m not...”

Taking a deep breath, Kanagi runs her hand down the side of Mitama’s face, analysing her. “I don’t know, but I want to understand. Mitama-chan, I love you. Please, can I?”

Laughing, Mitama wipes the tears from her eyes. “I thought it was naughty of you to peep?”

Not missing a beat, Kanagi’s face is stony as she responds, “I always ask for consent before I’m naughty.” After she says it, her face breaks, a slight smirk playing at her lips.

Mitama laughs again as she folds herself, cuddling into her smaller girlfriend’s frame, before nodding. “OK.”

Light played across Kanagi’s form as fine right fabric and black trim pulled around her. Silhouetted against a blazing sun, her monocle flashes into place with a singular purpose. Radiant in her raiments, Kanagi’s magia flared, opening up Mitama like a familiar book, simply waiting to be read.

_ “They weren’t too bad!” Momoko…  _ **_Togame, Momoko?_ ** _ Momoko flopped back onto the adjustment couch. “I’m just glad none of them did any real damage!” She paused, looking suddenly pensive. “I’m really glad I happened to see them on the way over.” _

_ Gliding to the couch, Mitama leaned down to push a loose strand of hair from Momoko’s face. “Oh dear! Well, it sounds like someone deserves some quality care.” The girl did so much for her. It was like she had something to prove. _

_ Laughing, Momoko sat up. “I’m OK. You know, it’s kinda funny. I always thought Kanagi-san would do this kinda thing for you.”  _ **_Kanagi feels a sudden pang of guilt shoot through her._ **

_ A pang of guilt shot through Mitama as she shifted closer.  _ **_Kanagi can help but feel a certain amusement as her girlfriend mirrored her own emotions._ ** _ “Yes, well, Kanagi-chan works late. She doesn’t always have time for little old me.” It almost felt like a hunger deep inside her. Like an empty sort of feeling in Mitama’s gut. “That’s why I have you though.” Mitama ran a hand down the back of the couch, sliding it behind Momoko. What was she doing?  _ **_There’s a deep burning want in Kanagi as well as she wishes she could step into the memory._ **

_ Momoko seemed oblivious, stretching. “Yeah, well, you’re an important part of our community. I’m just glad I can help! After all, nobody else seems to be...”  _ **_Damn..._ **

_ Smiling to cover the fact that for some reason Momoko’s words struck like daggers, Mitama clasped her hands together. “Well why doesn’t your coordinator put on some tea for you?” _

_ “Oh, sure!” _

_ Mitama was gone, dodging through the door and immediately relaxing in the kitchen. Sliding out her phone, she clicked it open to see the photo of her and Kanagi she kept as the wallpaper.  _ **_Kanagi had set it on her phone too… Though, she’d thought Mitama had changed it. After all, it was years ago..._ ** _ It was when they’d visited an amusement park. She’d taken the picture of them on the ferris wheel, and behind them, she could see the cityscape. She’d been nervous going up so high, but Kanagi had held her hand the whole way.  _ **_She still remembered that? Kanagi didn’t even remember that she’d been scared..._ ** _ Time passed so fast… She’d been 14 at the time. Flicking the phone shut again, Mitama started to make tea, filling the kettle and putting it on the stove, she went to measure out the tea itself _ **_—Kanagi tenses in anticipation—_ ** _ but zoned out, dropping the tin and causing the tea to explode everywhere. Cursing, Mitama found herself in tears, desperately sweeping up the scattered leaves. _

_ A moment later, Momoko was there, sweeping up the mess with her. Wiping the fresh tears from her eyes, Mitama spoke with a forced jubilance: “It’s fine, your coordinator is just ♪ a total klutz ♪.”  _ **_She shouldn’t joke like that. Kanagi hates it when she jokes like that._ ** _ Laughing at her own self degradation, Mitama picked up the large tin before slamming it down onto the counter, causing tea yet again to come spilling out. “Damn it…” _

_ Momoko laughed good naturedly, and Mitama found herself laughing too. “Hey, I’ll get it.”  _ **_Good._ ** _ The blonde stepped up to the counter. She was so close that Mitama could practically taste the girl. There was something deep inside her that was desperate for Momoko to show her why she stayed here, why she was willing to help.  _ **_If only Mitama could realize—_ **

_ Mitama closed with her. Momoko was so calm. She gave off big sister vibes even though Mitama was older, and it was just so easy to sink into the validation. She felt so… Stupid. So incompetent. After all, if she wasn’t so clumsy, maybe everything would have been different.  _ **_Why did she always go there? Kanagi finds herself pleading with her in her own head, wishing that Mitama would realize that it wasn't her._ ** _ Maybe she wouldn’t have pushed— _

_ Interrupting her train of thought, Momoko placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Mitama-san, you all right?”  _ **_Even though Kanagi knows where this is leading, she exhales in relief._ **

_ Opening her eyes, Mitama reached out, letting her fingertips rest along Momoko’s cheeks. She was the worst, absolute shit. But maybe, if she could just… In a sudden movement, Mitama kissed the girl, pulling her tightly to her. Momoko tasted just like Mitama had imagined, a— _

Kanagi closes her eyes, letting her magic cease to fish memories from the pool of Mitama’s consciousness. Her face is a mask of stony composure as Kanagi lets her power slip, a sparkling wave rushing over her body stripping away the domineering lapels, the elegant trim, and leaving a very small girl standing in the gathering dark.

Shaking, Mitama pulled back, staring at her. “I’m sorry Kanagi-chan, I don’t have an excuse, I—”

Silently, Kanagi cut her off by shaking her head. She was silent a long moment more, before opening her eyes and smiling at Mitama. “No, I think I understand. I’m not angry, Mitama-chan. Actually, I’m relieved.”

Mitama can’t comprehend the words she was hearing. Blinking profusely, she wipes a ribbon of snot from her nose. “Re-relieved?”

Kanagi actually laughs. It’s a dry sort of laugh, and she wraps her arms around herself as she does it, as if trying to hold something together. “I was actually worried that you’d moved on, or that I wasn’t enough, but I think you need things I can’t give you, because of circumstances. Maybe one day I can be there for you, always,” Kanagi looks away, biting her lip, “but at the moment, I still need to take care of my family.” She looks up at Mitama, a certain nervousness pervading her normally stoic demeanor. “Actually, I’m really glad that there are people that are there for you when I’m not. I… Worry a lot.”

Mitama tilts her head to the side slightly. “But, I cheated on you. You’re supposed to be mad!”

“Well,” Kanagi pauses, thinking, “you love me the same as always, don’t you?”

Nodding frantically, Mitama speaks up, “Yes, of course I do!” She almost sounds indignant.

In response to Mitama’s frantic tones, Kanagi slips into her normal confident smile. “Well then, I think I should be happy for you. I think the thing we should talk about now is how we restructure our relationship to meet both of our needs.”

“Both of our—”

Kanagi takes her girlfriend’s hands firmly in her own, ignoring the snot and tears that stain them. “Mitama-chan, so long as you continue to love me like you have, if you need our relationship to be open, I’m OK with that.” It’s a sort of half laugh that escapes from Kanagi. It’s not fake, so much as reserved—controlled.

Mitama smiles as well, but shakes her head. “You’re way too good for me.”

“I think,” Kanagi pauses, before squeezing her girlfriend tight. “I think that’s a thing for me to decide.” She exhales deeply. “Please don’t make that decision for me.”

Sliding in close, Mitama embraces her girlfriend, wrapping herself around the smaller girl. “I don’t do anything for you Kanagi. I hurt you. That’s it.”

Hugging Mitama back, Kanagi strokes her hair gently. “That’s not true. You’re my oldest friend, and you make me...  _ Feel _ . Also, you’re the coordinator for Kamihama, and even if that’s not for me, knowing that you’re here to take care of the Daito girls gives me peace of mind.”

Mitama interjects before Kanagi can continue, “A relationship is supposed to have a give and take, and you don’t take. Kanagi, darling, if we’re going to fix things, you need to be a part of this relationship too. After everything… I know that there’s a darkness in me, but I was to be there for you for once.”

“I,” Kanagi goes silent a long moment before speaking softly and looking up at her girlfriend, “I’d like to introduce you to my family.”

Mitama laughs, wiping tears from her eyes yet again. “I’ve met them before.”

Kanagi hesitates, but then speaks confidently. “It might take some time, but I want to introduce you to them as my partner. I know they’re traditional, but my family is everything to me Mitama-chan, and one day, I want—I need—you to be a part of that family… Even if our family looks a little different than most, I want that.”

After a long moment of silence, Mitama squeezes her girlfriend tightly. “I’d like that too Kanagi-chan.”


End file.
